Wednesday, July 08, 2009

I love the smell of yoghurt in the morning

It works like this: when I return to the B+B in the evening I am presented with a small jug of fresh milk with which to make whatever teas and coffees I might desire. Of course the weather has been warm which means that, by morning, the milk has gone off. Not that I'm bothered, if it was only slightly off I'd use it anyway, if too far gone I'll take my coffee without.

It had not been especially hot in the night and I was expecting something drinkable - but it wouldn't even pour. Solid. Yoghurt. The temperature must have been perfect.


I had a good old hack at Tec last night, and this occurred to me:

A recent blog by Jez commented on a discussion between him and another writer; gentle reader, I was that other writer. I am known for asking awkward questions. Anyway one of the areas we went over, in relation to "confident" writing, was scene transitions - not the scenes themselves but the pattern they form moving from one to the next.

For me this is critically important, if the scenes don't flow right it feels wrong and I can actually stop right there, unable to move forward until I fix the problem. (Usually something wrong with the previous scene, or my choice of next scene is wrong.)

As I trundled through the script of Tec only 6 pages in I realised there was a scene missing. In retrospect I recalled that I hadn't been entirely happy with the sequence, and when I read it through it stood out like a sore thumb.

The issue was one of passing time. The events of one day being followed by the events of the following day but there was absolutely no way the audience could know that it actually was the following day.

The scene that I had known was needed was one that firmly established that a night had passed. Not necessarily a very long scene (one minute max), just enough to establish a location used in the future, a character connected with it, the protagonist's relationship to it and the passage of time.

I'll write that tonight. And continue implementing the red-pen massacre.

What's on the turntable? "Hejira" by Joni Mitchell from "Hejira"


Yehudah Jez Freedman said...

Shhhh. Secret

Sofluid said...

I'm having a similar problem myself at the moment with an un-established day change.

My red pen hovered over the area and started circling madly like a dowsing rod.

Think it was trying to tell me to add a scene, but can't be sure...


laurence timms said...

Ha! Too late, Mr Freedman. I now have your screenwriting knowledge. Power is mine. Etc.

Glad to hear you're getting on so well with Tec. I finally beat the opening scene of Magick into submission at half past four this afternoon.

Now...nothing can stop me. Insert manic laughter here.

Word Verification: whifter. One who passes wind surreptitiously and then makes dramatic bodily movements so as to distribute the odour.

Adaddinsane said...

Jez, how is it you are posting while the mighty Torchwood is on?

I love this format - a five hour SF action thriller written by the best - life is good.

Trust the pen, Michelle, trust the pen.

Hey Mr Timms, whifter eh? There's a lot of it about. Especially round here - it's the dog I tell you.

Yehudah Jez Freedman said...

Simple - digi box. I write best in the evening so had dinner, watched Masterchef and then went back to the computer! I'll watch it in the morning when my brain is still waking up. (But am loving it so far.)