Interim blog

I've been very busy mostly not writing screenplays or any of that sort of creative.

Instead I've been doing a different sort of creative, working on a website that will hopefully generate some cash for me (sorry Chris not Voidships) it's a web developer - or indeed any programmer - kind of thing, of absolutely no use to any writer - except (weirdly) it just might be.

I shall explain:

Sometimes programmers have to write code that can import files from other places, but a major probklem can be not actually having a sample file to import - a lack of test data. Well there are tools that can create these kinds of files but most of them are too powerful and too expensive for your mid-range developer. And I did find one online generator that will do this sort of thing but it's not as flexible as I wanted.

So I've been building this thing, and yes it does have relevance to writers because one of the things it does is create character names. Like this:

Mr Jacob Collingwood, Mr Kurt Fisher, Dr Kira Drury, Mrs Brianna Underwood, Mrs Georgina Blake, Mr John Hubbard, Mrs Beryl Smith, Mr Lesley Dahl, Dr Alexander Hubbard, Ms Eliza Moffat

I don't have a huge selection of names yet. And it'll do addresses, social security numbers, email addresses, date of birth, and not just UK - you can select the country (initially just a few). Ultimately there'll be an ethnicity selection for names as well but probably not in the first released version.

Anyway I thought the name generator might come in handy. (Of course you could just use this: http://online-generator.com/ )

More writer-relevant stuff to come soon, I hope.

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What's on the turntable? Screenwriter UK podcast by Danny Stack and Tim Clague (whoo-hoo) at http://j.mp/q0cjKf 

Busy week

The day job continues unabated. I have the rest of the month to complete it then, who knows, I might have to get a new contract or this one may get extended.

Had a good conference with Chris the Director about our Steampunk project - all about promotion, marketing and the direction we're going with it. Plus talking about the first actual film project associated with it, Winter. A real business meeting - hardly talked creative at all.

I've been working on the back story of the characters in Winter in lots of loving detail - I came to the conclusion that I didn't know enough about them so they came out a bit flat, and the story did not come from them, they were merely fitting into the story.

This is where the big lie comes in: Story is Character. Which is quite true, of course, no doubt about it. But it's just as valid creating the characters to make the story, as the other way around.

Tomorrow the Daughter heads off to Bolivia for 6 weeks. Coincidentally a new talent agency has contacted her to see if she'd like representation (don't worry people, I have thoroughly checked them, they are kosher). When she returns from looking after dangerous animals she will meet with us at the Edinburgh Festival - my first time there, though the rest of the family has been before. I shall be using this trip as research for my script Running.

The TV Drama - Writer's Festival is taking place in Leeds on Wednesday and Thursday, and I shall be there along with many from the scribosphere. I've ordered new business cards which should arrive today - my only business cards were too "production" oriented as opposed to "writer" oriented.

I can only say good things about Vistaprint's business card service, their online design-your-card system is excellent, especially if you have a clue about design (and though I'm no designer, I do understand what I'm doing). And even if you don't it's still easy to use and hand-holds all the way through.

Being a smart-ass I put a QR-code on the back of the business card which links directly through to the scripts on the blog here. This one. (Where did I get it from? bit.ly - more on that another time.)

Also, on Thursday, it's the Boy's appearance in Bugsy Malone. As previously mentioned he doesn't have a big part but he's also playing saxophone in the band. And now has been given several solos - because he's cool. I've not previously mentioned but, when it comes to clothes, he's one of those people that has a natural knack for picking the right combinations and looks good in almost anything. (Jealous, moi?) In a 30s suit complete with trilby and a saxophone, he looks perfect - hopefully we'll have a picture.

Friday? Just work, catching up on the day job with the time I've lost.

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What's on the turntable? "And the Mouse Police never sleeps" by Jethro Tull from "Heavy Horses"

You deserve an update

It's been a fairly pressured few weeks - the day job, my contract at that time, was in a very bad location for travel, had an appalling work schedule in relation to my travel, and was improperly specced which meant I ended up working all hours to finish it. Even though I wasn't getting paid for those additional hours.

Harrumph.

Just as well it was a short contract. My new contract is in a better location for travel, has a better work schedule and while my time will be filled getting the job done I will only have to work during work time.

Which is much better.

Ooh, while I'm here let me just say the commentary track on J.J.Abrams "Star Trek" is excellent, we watched it again last night and I loved it again. So I thought I'd listen to the commentary while ironing (I do 99% of the ironing) and it was definitely worth it.

On the writing front

Once I finished that contract, I got back into my rewrite of Running which is going pretty well. Had a few sticky moments but I realised that with all the changes I'd been making - as a result of this - there was one further technique I needed to apply in order to smooth out the story and ensure the whole thing flowed logically.

I needed to plan it backwards, this is another Jeff Kitchen technique and it goes like this:

Your story needs to have a logical flow. Each element of the story must be a logical progression from the previous element. You can achieve that by writing the story backwards: Goldilocks jumps out the window and runs away; Because she is scared by the Three Bears; Because she's woken up suddenly by the Three Bears; Because she ate all of Little Bear's porridge; Because she broke into their house while they were away.

Like that. You start with your ending and work back to the beginning. If you can't, you have a problem with your story: it's not logical.

So I did that with Running and smoothed out the plot and now, as I write it, I'm marking off each because.

Good news ... or not?

Back here I was a naughty tease, but I will now reveal that a good scriptwriting agency (as opposed to a web developer agency, which I also use) has read several of my scripts and concluded that they would like to have a meeting. I have tried not to get too excited as there is many a slip 'twixt cup and lip.

Hopefully I'll be able to arrange this in the next few weeks. It is quite stressful being so close, and it being so likely that nothing will come of it.

Importantly they put in writing that they consider that I can write.

Which is nice.*

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What's on the turntable? "Aristillus" by Camel from "Moonmadness"


*No irony intended - we need all the affirmation we can get.

Procrastination station

I'm on a train heading back to London to begin a new web development contract, having got my head screwed on straight during my Birmingham getaway.

There are two main types of contract job in my field: one where you are embedded in the company you're working for (as I was at NBC); or working for the client of an agency, as I am this time.

This job is much easier to get to than the previous one - no train changes required, going to and from, plus the station is quite close to the agency. Much more convenient.

To be honest I'm procrastinating. I've been working on Running for the past hour and a half, and have hit a logical but awkward scene. Not quite sure how it will reach the resolution it needs to reach yet, so I need to think about it a bit. The script is progressing nicely however.

I saw The Green Hornet today. Quite entertaining in general, though not a "great" film. However there was one aspect which had me in writer-gasms (hm, might not use that term again) when it came to the film's Inciting Incident. You might think that in a comedy action movie the Inciting Incident might be something huge, at least very funny or even action-y.

But it isn't, it is a tiny thing which is set-up very well and fits the main character perfectly. Quality writing, but given the main character's complete lack of caring for others, it had to be something that would reach and move him.

I also watched Jonah Hex. Even disregarding the terrible liberties they took with the story and the character, this is a poorly written film. A shame.

I also need you to start thinking about Bolivia.

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What's on the turntable? "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits from "Brothers in Arms"

A Strange Hinterland

I'm at home, yesterday I was in London.

It's all the fault of the Government - well, isn't everything?[1]

I won't bore you with the insanity of Michael Gove (this is not a political comment, it's a technical fact, he's what we call in the business "a nutter"), but from the start of the election all Government departments go into purdah. I shall avoid obvious jokes[2]. Essentially no further promotion can occur of almost any sort because it could be deemed an attempt to influence voting by the incumbent party. This applies to websites. I build websites. I was building government websites when the purdah thing happened.

Sounds of twiddling thumbs.

I was still getting paid - still am getting paid - but not doing much. So now I'm at home, effectively on retainer. But the contract was finishing soon anyway and I've been applying for other jobs.

So I was in London yesterday attending two interviews, one with a big digital agency and one with one of the Hollywood big five (oh yes). Plus I have a telephone interview today with another company, although I was offered one of the London jobs - almost before I got out of the building.

It's nice to be wanted. It will be a challenge, as I'm moving up in the world from simple programmer, to project architect which means that if it doesn't work, it's my fault.

So, if I'm away from home, my blogging rate may go up again, and I should get a lot more writing done. But it's been nice living at home with my family for the past year, rather than just seeing them weekends. But it's really interfered with my writing. Oh well.

On the writing front I'm a bit buggered with my Red Planet entry; it being a detective series which really isn't panning out right. I've had some feedback on the first 10 pages including from the inestimable Jez - the main problem being I can't quite get my ideas to fit the genre.

The genre can't be wrong (it's just a genre) - it's me. So either the idea is fundamentally flawed and can never work, or I'm a genius and nobody recognises it. Or perhaps I haven't done enough research.

Time will tell.

At the weekend, on Sunday, we spent a few hours at the Dr Who Pub Convention Vworp! (at the Lass o'Gowrie in Manchester) and I think it was the interview with Rob Shearman where he was talking about "editing as you watch". At which point the Teacher nudged the Daughter (the whole family attended) and said "That was your father last night - watching "V for Vendetta". I'm in tears and he's saying 'I'd've taken an axe to the dialogue'."

True story.

In other news...

The Daughter has an audition for a roller-skating pantomime but she can't roller-skate (apparently it's not a pre-requisite); the Boy is getting the hang of riding a bike which is important because he's going to be spending a day riding when he's in France in a couple of weeks.

Oh and for those who care, in the blog entry where I printed the advice I'd given someone about writing, I also printed his response to my advice in the comments because I was dead chuffed (for my non-UK readers that is the same as "chuffed as a buttie", i.e. "happy as a sandwich" but in this case is "as happy as a zombie").

Meme

I have been instructed, by powers so much more powerful than I, that my List of Films I'd Watch Again ... and Again should be a meme. Soooo...

Rules:
1. Provide a non-exhaustive list of films you'll happily watch again and again;
2. There is no rule 2.[3]
3. Reprint the rules.
4. Tag three other peeps.

And I hereby tag Sir Jon of Peacey, Duke Rob of Stickles and the utterly translucent Piers of Beckley.

That'll learn ya.


[1] No, not really.
[2] In fact I wrote an obvious joke ... but it wasn't funny so I deleted it.
[3] That is a lie.

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What's on the turntable? Nuffink, I'm saving bandwidth.

Pit stop

Pressure of work has meant I haven't blogged for days. Sorry about that.

The second cut of the Monsters scenes was hugely better and we have a little way to go on that, the music is being composed as we speak (yes indeedy, original score too). I have designed and ordered new business cards.

Oh, I finished the treatment of Clones last night and popped that off to the collaborator. After all the prevaricating it took a mere 45 minutes to wind up - I was really cooking by the end, I love writing action sequences.

I've been working on the new website, I need to get something in place by next week.

And because of the screenwriters festival I have had to compress three weeks of the day job into two weeks, I'll be in Cheltenham when they do the next launch. Eeek.

And finally I got sort-of good news from my accountant - my business did so well in 2008 I have a huge amount of corporation tax to pay ... damn.

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What's on the turntable? "Tour de France, Etape 1" by Kraftwerk from "Minimum-Maximum"

Breaking lose

The launch of the day-job website went off fairly painlessly on Wednesday evening - so much so that they didn't require my presence at work through the evening - though I was on-call. You can look at it at http://www.diploma-support.org/ - I created the "My Support" section and the consortium select system.

We're already off and running on development for the next major release in six weeks.

You'd think with that off my plate the stress levels would be going down - but no.

Obviously we're gearing up for the Monsters shoot tomorrow and Sunday. We lost all our schoolroom extras on Wednesday! And several of the Daughter's production team suddenly found they have things they're doing.

These things are sent to try us.

The Boy got back from Pinewood Studios yesterday and we found out that he and his team had made it through the first two rounds of the new Bamzooki - which means he is in the semi-finals and has to go back for filming on Saturday (tomorrow!).

But the BBC lost one of their chaperones to family problems, and had no one available to bring the kids. So the Teacher has to do it, and they're travelling down again tonight because the day starts too early to travel in the morning. (And what would the Beeb have done if it had been impossible for anyone to bring these semi-finalists?)

On the positive side the Boy was also inteviewed for Blue Peter with his team.

It's all go...

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What's on the turntable? "Summit" by Vangelis from "China" (courtesy of Spotify)

Credibility

Working as a contract web developer is like being a writer - you're only as good as your last job.

I've never believed that security comes from outside - the only security you have is what you make for yourself which means, in my case, doing the best job I possibly can, otherwise I stand a good chance of not getting a new contract.

As a not-as-yet produced screenwriter I'm safe from criticism, the scripts look fine on paper. But come September we'll be shooting selected scenes from Monsters. And we'll see how secure I look then.

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What's on the turntable? "The Wanting comes in Waves" by The Decemberists from "The Hazards of Love" (courtesy of Spotify).

I discovered The Decemberists while working for Clash Magazine last year, they are superb storytellers, like this from the "Abduction of Margaret":

And all the while whispering arbors provide cover
That previous witnessed ardor of our lovers
Our heroine here falls prey to her abductor
All a-gallop with Margaret slung rude cross withers
Having clamped her innocent fingers in fetters.

Getting personal

I haven't mentioned much of what I'm about on the personal front recently. My contract with the Open University comes to an end this week, but I am already set up with another contract in Sheffield starting from Monday.

I was particularly interested in the Sheffield job because it meant that I could live at home for a change. Something appreciated by all the family. It should be cheaper - unfortunately it isn't. From where I live to the job is less than 40 miles, a small journey by train - my favoured form of transport. But no. The Pennines are in the way and there's no easy way to do it. So I am forced to lease a car which eats up most of the money I would otherwise have had extra.

This is not to say that I'll be worse off or anything. It's just irritating. Plus the fact I will be wasting 3 hours of my day, every weekday, when I could be writing. Irritating.

Writing-related news

The work on Tec continues on target - dumped another two scenes I didn't much like and incorporated their plot-relevant content elsewhere in a much tighter format. As a general policy I cut back dialogue and action whenever I see something that could be expressed in less words - a by-product of my magazine editor experience where I was forever chopping out the deadwood from other people's prose - often turning complete paragraphs into a single short sentence.

Despite all this cutting back the script is the same length as it was before I started this process - which hopefully means it's getting packed with the good stuff.

The trailer for Monsters will hopefully be getting back on track after a short hiatus - with the producer being on holiday (and getting engaged) - and the director being so busy at work he couldn't do anything. Though he did watch Children of Earth and promises that he saw some neat tricks he's going to steal.

My search for a new illustrator for the Monsters OGN is not going very well at the moment, had a nibble but it didn't go anywhere. Trouble is my requirements are limiting - I'd really prefer an illustrator who knows Manchester.

In other news

The Daughter got her first "trial job" last weekend, at a country house hotel, serving at table like all good actresses. I would have said that they just did it to get some free staff, except they called her today for another event they're hosting on Friday. They'll pay her for that one. Still got a long way to go before she can afford to get to Borneo though. The other positive thing is that she can now put an actual job on her CV.

The Boy is gearing up for the CBBC Bamzooki TV show, they sent him the new software (as yet unreleased, and no you can't have it) the new format looks very exciting. He's been designing his new zooks and will be working with his team next week when they finish school. It also turns out that he's a rather good drummer (as well as playing sax and tenor horn) - I feign annoyance at how talented my kids are.

The Teacher is fine, and very pleased that she's steadily losing weight without dieting. Hope she doesn't go too far, I like my wenches cuddlesome.

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What's on the turntable? "I wasn't gonna fall in love" by Carole King from "Love makes the World"

Resumption of Normal Service

Aha! Google appear to have fixed the Blogger bug so now I can post blogs without all the Word shenanigans. Huzzah!

Had my meeting with the producer today. It seemed to go well though it wasn't quite what I thought it was - I imagined we were going for a web series, but no, it's a TV series, however it's all spec and no-pay collaboration. Turning his ideas into solid script - but I'm allowed to have my own ideas too. I shall have to think of a code word to describe this project.

However there was plenty of discussion of other projects both mine and his. I swapped my leave-behinds for his take-aways so we'll both be having a read.

Nice chap - very young* - but enthusiastic. His (and his business partner's) company have done a bunch of shorts that have done well and they even received money for one of them. (Wow.) So they're looking to take the next step.

As I've pretty much finished Tec I'll probably re-schedule things and see how it all comes out.

As my day job affects my writing I shall also mention that I have an interview for a job in Sheffield. Which means two things if I get it (the animal entrails bode well): (a) I'll be living at home; (b) commute time goes up again.

Both of these are damaging to my writing time as my wife pointed out - much as I would love to be at home more. On the other hand I'd be earning considerably more in the penny department, which we could really do with.

On balance Sheffield would be good. I'll need to buy a cute little eee pc to write on - my laptop is a heavy beast - and be much stricter with myself. But that can't be a bad thing.

Next blog will be a look back at how I'm doing on the year's writing goals and what the next six months may bring.

* In comparison to me.

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What's on the turntable? "Awakening" by Gordon Giltrap from "Visionary" (I'm in Giltrap mode again - just can't stop listening to it.)

Pitch in

So whenever I try to create a blog in Blogger itself I get a bX-xovb7t error (this is happening to a large chunk of people and has been going on for at least 5 days so far). But it turns out that I can edit existing blogs. I sorted out Word so that I could post a blog from there but I hate it, it's just so awkward and ugly.

My solution is to create and post the initial blog then come back to Blogger to actually write the thing.

It's not perfect but it works.

I've had a bit of a problematic week, the Teacher was ill at the weekend - even though we still had to head down to my sister's 40th birthday bash, which went okay. But due to the illness my sleep can be better described as a lack of it.

So the heat coupled with lack of sleep has been the worst thing. The office has been reasonably cool (though there's no air-con) but as previously mentioned the room I have in the B+B is in the roof and south-facing. It bakes. So for three evenings I have done virtually nothing.

Though I have managed to scribble out a few more pages of Tec which is good.

This Saturday I have the meeting with the Producer in Manchester. So this evening I must sort out all my bits and pieces that I'll be taking along, all the pitches and scripts that he's asked for. Of course it's not a formal "stand there and pitch" for which I am grateful, but I still need to know my stuff so I can hit him with the throughlines with some confidence.

As we're six months through the year various bloggers have done a "how we are doing on the targets?" posting. I shall do this also in the next exciting instalment.

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What's on the turntable? "Lucifer's Cage" by Gordon Giltrap from "Visionary" (This is the first time I've had my music on all week - feel like things are getting back to normal.)

All blogged out

After last week's ridiculous number of posts I've been rather quiet.

There are several reasons for this: My sleep patterns have been completely messed up and it wasn't until yesterday I was feeling properly awake for the first time in a couple of weeks (damn that hot weather).

I have been talking to a couple of people about a secret project, which is secret. It doesn't involve me getting paid any money so it doesn't come under the heading of achieving my goals for this year. Unfortunately. Though OMG#6 may well get me to that goal.

As you can see I changed my blog design I never really liked the other one.

I haven't been writing. The day job is getting in the way though not in the way you might expect. As a contractor I never really know where the next job is going to be. I have to sell my skills every time (or at least have agents who will do it for me). I am not working in my area of specialisation currently (Drupal) which is slightly risky as clients can be very stupid: by not doing one job in Drupal it obviously means I can't do it.

Likewise Drupal 6 has been out a while but I haven't done any commercial Drupal 6 sites - now this is completely irrelevant, the differences are not that great. But again clients can be very stupid obviously if I've never done a commercial D6 site obviously that means I can't do it.

My current contract is up in about 5 weeks so I must take steps to ensure my CV is convincing to stupid clients. Luckily there are two or three websites I can work on in D6, but it means I have to spend my evenings programming rather than writing. Luckily it won't take too long - because I do know what I'm doing.

In the meantime I've been thinking about trailers.

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What's on the turntable? "Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen from the "Essential" compilation. A masterful poet.

A Walk in the Park

The Screenwriter's Festival has got a new-look website and they've told the whole world who I am. I order you not to go and find out - assuming you don't already know.

And then they have the audacity to suggest that writing this blog (as they put it "significantly more regular than many others", of course I haven't actually posted in - what? Two days? That's bad for me) ... they have the audacity to suggest that this might actually interfere with my screenwriting.

How little they know me.

I'm up to 88 pages on Running which means that I have 12 pages to do in the next 3 evenings - a walk in the park. I have just completed a car chase which was almost embarrassing for a script to do with Parkour. However the characters had to get somewhere fast, and the main character was, at that point, not even capable of walking unaided.

But she's better now, thanks to the miracle of nano-technology.

Speaking of walks in the park - I have now done two days in my new job. As previously mentioned I am now working at the Open University in Milton Keynes. It's a very special kind of University, it has all the trappings of academia but (blessing from heaven) no students - at least none on campus.

I'm staying at a B&B - sorry, 4-star Guest House - a little over a mile from where I'm working so once again I can walk to work. Through leafy lanes, fields and parkland surrounded by English rural countryside. I could get used to this. Yesterday I got soaked from the rain as I walked back - and I really didn't care. It's worth checking out the Wikipedia entry to see how Milton Keynes was designed to work for both cars and people.

It's true that there is the constant sound of cars in the background but that's the price you pay for being both rural and urban simultaneously.

In case you're interested the contract is going well so far, except that all the work I did yesterday was deleted by someone else at the end of the day. Thanks. It took me less time to get back to the same position, of course, and I have powered onwards.

I was brought in because they are on deadline and their programmers were taken ill (not Swine Flu as far as I know). I'm not sure I can hit their deadline (particularly not losing a day and a half - the day's work plus re-doing it) but I shall try.

I'm not a fan of the news, I am a fan of Charlie Brooker and his Newswipe prog - it explains exactly why I have ignored the news as much as possible for the last 20 years. Except he explains it more succinctly and with more humour than me.

But the Swine Flu thing did scare the life out of me - it sounded exactly like the backstory in my TV script Monsters. I had to go and do some research just to confirm that it wasn't killing too many people. That's one future I'd rather not be the prophet of.

So let's see how many pages I can knock out, at least 4, tonight.

EDIT: 6 pages. Oh yes.

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What's on the turntable? "An Architect's Dream" by Kate Bush from "Aerial CD2: A Sea of Honey"

Scriptfrenzy 4 days to go

Well, I needed to catch up today.

And I also needed to prepare for my first week in Milton Keynes and the trip down, new place to stay.

Everything went off fairly smoothly, the trip down was reasonably quick - only 1.5 hours on the train plus 30 min at the start and 15 min at the end: 2.25 hours end to end. (When I was doing Dundee last year it was 8 hours total travel time.)

But I was falling behind on Running. I got up and walked the dog at 6:15am this morning, got back about 7am, and wrote a couple of pages. Later I wrote a couple more.

Then I piled it on in the train and wrote some more this evening before watching William Goldman being interviewed on The South Bank Show.

So how did I do? Twelve pages. Result! I'm now on 87 pages, and if I had taken the trouble to write a couple more I'd be on same level as someone who'd started at the beginning and done 4.6 pages per day. (But I didn't.)

So that was good. Well it was semi-good, the actual content is not so hot, lots of tightening up needed and probably junking most of this sequence I've just written. But it's first draft so we don't really need to worry about that.

Anyway, off to bed now ready for discovering what the new contract will bring tomorrow.

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What's on the turntable? "Pi" by Kate Bush from "Aerial CD1: Sea of Honey"

Academia

Fresh out of university I did not want the type of job that other graduates of possibly the best computer degree in the world were getting.

I graduated in Computer Science from Manchester University about 28 years ago. It was a course that I doubt gets taught anywhere any more. We were taught everything about computers: from how the electrons flow through the wires, through constructing the basic circuits that all computers are built on, up through programming basics that have never and will never change, to managing massive database systems. Nowadays the courses tend to specialise - we covered everything.

And where did most graduates of this amazing course go? They went to write payroll systems for large corporations.

I was always bit of a rebel, in a very middle class sort of way. In my third year I did a subsidiary course in the History of Music, I've always had an interest in music - I can get a tune out of most things but can't play any individual instrument at all well. Doing this additional course caused real problems because it ran to a completely different schedule and entailed a long walk between the various campus areas.

My intentions were less about learning music history and more about the girls - no, that's a lie - I really wanted access to the Music Faculty's music technology lab, I wanted to play with the synthesizers. I wanted to be like Mike Oldfield. I had a band in the second year that managed just one performance, although we had some real talent, in the third year I wanted to go it alone.

Getting back to the point, when I finished my degree course I wanted something different, and eventually landed myself a job with the Open University, making these new-fangled personal computers talk. I added speech output to various types of micro-computer.

It was from there I went off into my career as magazine writer and editor.

The circle turns. On Friday I got offered a new contract, not the one I wanted, once again I'm working for the Open University, this time at their HQ in Milton Keynes. Not to do with talking computers though.

As mentioned in my previous post one thing that will stop you from writing is outside influences - and getting things organised, not to say actually getting the job, has rather interfered with my committing Running to script. I've managed to keep it going but not at the proper rate unfortunately. I'm on 77 pages with 4 days to go, about 6 pages per day.

But I will have a train ride from Manchester to Milton Keynes in which to write, plus evenings in the B&B that I've booked for the week. Six pages per day is not a huge number.

The B&B does have a TV in every room which may be a bit of a problem, and hopefully I'll be able to organise the room so that I can type fairly comfortably. I hope so.

After Running, according to my plan, I'm writing the pilot for my detective TV series Tec (working title). I have been looking for the notebook that contains the notes for Tec I made with my wife a couple of years ago. Unfortunately I can't find it anywhere which is a shame. Still, I can remember most of the points about the plot and a bit of re-research into the unusual disease required for the pilot will tell me what I need to know.

###PRIMEVAL SPOILER (SEASON 3, FIRST 2 EPISODES)

In other news: I note that this new series of BBC's Robin Hood lost 1.3 million viewers last week. It's got lower figures than Primeval. I haven't watched the Robin Hood because of no interest, the first ones were just so poor (in my opinion); Primeval however has got into its stride and this series has had some really good episodes (including actually killing the lead character, permanently).

### END OF SPOILER

I have downloaded all the episodes of Robin Hood to watch them and see why it's lost so many viewers. Is it just because it can't match the Primeval/Britain's Got Talent combo? Or has it improved and driven away some of its viewers? (Ooooh, harsh!)

Of course it's all my opinion, but I shall let you know what I think.

(I also downloaded BBC4's repeat of a Kate Bush concert from 1978. I have been madly in love with Kate Bush since Wuthering Heights.)

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What's on the turntable? "Mrs Bartolozzi" by Kate Bush from "A Sea of Honey", CD1 of "Aerial"

Block and tackle

I wrote nothing yesterday, I hit a wall.

As regular readers will know, I loathe the concept of "Writer's Block". I believe I am justified in this loathing (obviously) and I shall explain (this is my view):

When someone says "I can't write, I have writer's block" it's as if they have some sort of disease, that it's something outside themselves preventing them from writing.

There certainly are things from "outside" that might stop you from writing, like worries about money, or a loved one's had an accident, or you have someone close to you who is constantly undermining you.

These are real external issues - they are not a disease and they are not "Writer's Block", but they can stop you writing.

From my personal experience the only thing that stops me from writing (and I tempted to believe that this is the real truth generally) is that I don't know what to write.

If you don't know what to write then you can't write it.

So clearly the trick is: find out what to write.

I've known for a couple of days that I have a problem with my plan for Running, it was too low-level from the start. In other words what I was writing as an Act-level description was really more of a Sequence-level.

And I ran out of plot. I was trying to write my Act III notes when I was barely halfway through. And then I made the mistake of sitting in front of the computer pretending that I was trying to solve the problem - because I knew what it was - when really I was doing nothing.

I faced the fact that I was deluding myself yesterday evening and decided not to try to fix it then and there - because other issues were intruding. Like the fact that I had an interview for a contract in Bristol today and I had to get everything sorted for that.

However that was to my advantage because it meant I had 6 hours of writing time available without interruptions sitting on the train. I made the decision I would sort out my plot problems and write a goodly number of pages today.

Then I had a terrible night. I had to get up about 5:30am, I went to bed at midnight and the dog decided to disturb us during the night. So I was really tired.

I drank a lot of coffee today - but not in the interview, didn't want to get coffee-breath. (The interview seemed to go well but, frankly, I've given up trying to second guess the result. Anyway I have a telephone interview tomorrow and another possibility coming up.)

So I spent the first part fo the journey figuring out how to fix my plot problems. I'm not a fan of flashbacks generally but I thought adding a few really short ones spaced out through the script would help explain things. I made a big note to add some more stuff in one particular scene. Then I sorted out how to fill up Act IIb and Act III.

Then I fell asleep.

I woke up at Birmingham and set about integrating the flashbacks. Rather than abrupt changes to flashback, I wanted to have common elements between the flashback and the present, to make the integration smooth - and that seemed to work well. I also kept them very short, 30 seconds max. (I can always take them out later if I decide they don't add anything.)

Thing is there is the issue that in order to "win" ScriptFrenzy I have to write a script that's 100 pages long. Which may mean padding, though I try not to.

On the way back from Bristol I carried on writing, though I was so tired I fell asleep twice and seemed to jump in space because I almost failed to notice I'd fallen asleep.

In the end I still added only another 7 pages but they were good pages for the most part.

I had a very bright idea for a Parkour action scene in a location I'm betting that no one else has ever done. I like the process of putting your hero into a situation that it's completely impossible to get them out of, and then getting them out of it in an entirely logical way. In this instance the "getting them out of the impossible situation" put them into the new location.

(I had fun with that one in my Une Nuit a Paris script where the hero and the prostitute are chained up in an S&M room in a brothel. Getting them out of there was ... interesting.)

However I ran into an interesting problem: It was rubbish. There was no drama, no impetus, nothing.

Now I like writing action, apparently I'm good at it. The stuff I usually write is exciting and full of will-they won't-they tension.

But not this. It was as limp as a dunked Rich Tea biscuit. There is no tension because the people running away are not being closely pursued by their enemies, and there are no enemies ahead of them. Just look at all the Die Hard movies, the real tension comes when the jeopardy is right there, right NOW.

So that needs sorting out.

In the meantime I now know where I'm going again, and I can write again. There is no "Writer's Block" - just not knowing what to write.

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What's on the turntable? "The Last Time I Saw Richard" by Joni Mitchell from "Blue"

An Alien in a Suit

This blog will have something about screenwriting nearer the end, so you can skip all this other stuff if you want. (Perhaps I should colour-code the various bits.)

So the Comedy Central launch went off mostly okay although if you decided to watch the countdown you will have seen the glitch. For reasons I won't go into - none of them my fault, or indeed the fault of the internal team - the site arrived 15 minutes late. Which was slightly embarrassing but not seriously.

My next contract is getting lined up, hopefully, according to the agency the company are so desperate they are willing to pay a lot of money for someone to work over Easter. I explained that as I hadn't been home for 3 weeks the answer, though tempting, was no. Anyway the agent is going to arrange an interview on Thursday. So I said, okay as long as they don't expect me to wear a suit. He said "They'd think you were an alien if you did" and I said "that's good because I look like an alien in a suit".

Silence.

You see the problem with that line. It's really not as funny as it's supposed to be. I defused it with "that line was supposed to be a lot funnier than the way it came out". The agent guy paused then laughed. Phew, good save.

Screenwriting bit

I really can't decide whether or not to do ScriptFrenzy this year - yes, I know, it's already the 7th, but the words and the pages don't scare me, if I chose to do it I could fill the pages. It would help me get the first draft of Running out the way.

I did some "Thirty Six Dramatic Situations" work on Running partly as an experiment. Starting from "Situation I: Supplication" I looked to see if there were opportunities for a version of that situation in the story - which there were, so I made a note of it - and it helped to clarify the ending. Then Situation II, and so on. I got up to VIII. I have to say this is good stuff.

This is the story where I have to bring in Parkour (like Free Running but not exactly the same) and although I wanted to make it integral I was having problems with what to do with the Parkour practitioner. To be honest I could rip him out of the script (well, outline) and the script would remain pretty much intact. Not good, because if you can take something out of a script without affecting it, then you should.

But then I would lose the entire point.

The 36DS (it's quicker to type that), even though I've only looked at a few, gave me a way of making the character integral to the plot and giving him his very own dilemma. Not bad for half an hour's work.

Here's a thought: Let's suppose you wanted to mount a picture on a brick wall. If you had a hammer and nails, you could do it, probably - though you might end up with a bent nail and a large useless hole. Or maybe you've got a hand-drill (with a masonry bit) plus a screwdriver, rawlplugs and a proper hook. It would take a lot of elbow grease but eventually you could get a decent hole, and have the hook properly secured. Or, you have a power drill/screwdriver plus rawlplugs and hook, you get a good result in a fraction of the time.

With the proper writing tools you can get your picture mounted on the wall in a fraction of the time, and people will come around and admire how nice the picture is.

It's a thought.

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What's on the turntable? "The Look of Love" by Dusty Springfield. I love Dusty though she is no longer with us. Burt Bacharach wrote this song for her.

Comedy Central goes live

I didn't create the whole thing, a lot of it was already in place from the previous version and I had a whole heap of designers and other developers helping at the end, but I guess I'm responsible for about 50% of the site:

http://www.comedycentral.co.uk/

Watch the countdown, watch it go live on a computer near you...

(This is called tempting fate ... however it's been stable for the last couple of hours.)

See you on the other side.

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What's on the turntable? Nuffink

Thank goodness I'm not dead

Yes, it's the Incorporate an Indy Quote or Slightly Modified Indy Quote meme. Not really a meme just a little game to play.

So, yes. Thank goodness I'm not dead.

Why should I be? You may ask. It has to do with my inconsiderate neighbour, in the flat below, who insists on listening to TV late into the night (specifically, 00:40 on Thursday nights) and preventing me from sleeping. He actually went away for two weeks. It was bliss.

He returned on Sunday evening but didn't do the TV thing.

But last night. Last night.

Last night I was actually drifting off at 11:30pm because his TV wasn't too loud. Then a song came on that he liked, so he turned it up. And left it turned up. Incredible. He did stop at about 00:20 this time which would not have been so bad but for one little thing:

I'm in the last week of preparing the Comedy Central UK website for launch. There's a lot to do, it's not desperate but it will be tight. I need to be able to think clearly during the day. I need sleep.

So I got stressed, I got really really stressed. The noice stopped but I had got so stressed that I still couldn't sleep. It was a vicious circle: every minute that passed worsened the situation because I Had To Sleep. But I couldn't. Until 3:30am.

Reluctantly, today, I decided I needed to do something about it. I had never seen my neighbour. I knew he was male. But nothing more. I needed to confront him and get him to stop it.

You know how it is. You run through a million scenarios, you try to decide what's the best thing to say. Luckily words are something I have some skill with and I'm reasonably good at dealing with people - and I know that the majority of people are decent. But there was always the chance that he wasn't one of the decent ones. There was a chance there would be a bad reaction.

I needed to use the magic words: "Can you help me?" These are the most powerful words on the planet, it is only a tiny minority of people who don't respond to that request.

I planned it out: Arrive at the house. Don't go to my flat because then I'll chicken out. Make it the first thing to do. (I did some reading up on handling this sort of situation, it is recommended you try to handle it when the problem is not happening.) Knock on his door (rather than ring from outside), which will slightly discombobulate him: if I'm knocking directly on his door then I'm either another tenant or a landlord. When he opens the door, introduce myself as the person upstairs and ask for his help.

After that, improvise. But don't be accusative. (Tricky for me, that one, I find the accusatory tone slips out easily.)

So that's what I did. And that's how it played out, action for action, word for word.

To my surprise he was in his 40s, I was expecting 20s-30s, and quite civilised. I explained the problem with me having to get up early. I asked if I was disturbing him at all (apparently not). Then I accepted his excuse ("the walls are really thin" - actually they're not) so he could save face. He said he'd keep the noise down, so I thanked him.

And hugely relieved at not being dead, I came to my room. I hope that handles it.

In other news: the daughter has an audition at Bristol Old Vic tomorrow - journey time over 4 hours one way, for 15 minutes. As previously mentioned this is her number one choice, especially when she found out that some of her favourite actors went there (like Gene Wilder, oh yes).

However something far more important happened for her today. In this audition she has to sing a short song unaccompanied. When the daughter was in Primary School she tried out for the School Choir and the headteacher told her she was not good enough. She was crushed and from that point has never really believed she could sing - only good enough for big choirs. We did pay for her to have some professional singing lessons at one point but they were short-lived for various reasons.

Anyway we had suggested that she get a music teacher at college to give her a lesson just to give her some pointers. She arranged it and finally got the lesson today. She was given some coaching on her breathing which she appreciated - but the teacher also told her that she had a beautiful singing voice!

She's floating. Finally the words of that stupid man, ten years ago, have been erased.

The wife and I are so happy. Next Monday the daughter is in Oxford for another audition and a couple of weeks later at RADA. Both of those involve hours of work, in groups and singly. Bristol Old Vic obviously want to make it just like an audition for an acting job.

And that's the end of the news.

So does any of this have to do with screenwriting - my story about the noise problem can be analysed to see which story elements exist. An exercise for the reader.

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What's on the turntable? "The Book" by Sheryl Crow from "Sheryl Crow". Another superb songwriter, in a similar vein to Joni Mitchell, evoking powerful situations where the listener can see the story.

Blog me a river

What a day ... turns out I will not be going home this weekend because I will be working on the day job website, launch is in less than two weeks. It's coming together and I now have two designers to make the things I'm creating look pretty. It's going to be close, but it always is.

But I won't see the boy who, after his jaunt to Norway, is now off to France for two days. (He's going to Italy in a year with the Scouts.) Nor will I get to hear him playing some of the new music I bought him for his sax (100 Sax solos and Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah). What an instrument the saxophone is, it sounds good even when he's not playing it well.

And I don't get to see the daughter who's heading for her first Drama college audition next week, Bristol Old Vic - which is the course she'd really like to get on to, they do tons of real performance throughout the course. Second choice is Oxford (not the University) because they only take about 15 students per year. Finally RADA - not that she'd object to being offered a place at RADA, but you're not even allowed to do any public performance for the first two years.

And I don't get to see the wife which is no fun at all.

Had a conversation with Philip Shelley today about my stupid idea.

For UK TV you are supposed to create something powerful that demonstrates your own unique voice. You are not expected to produce spec scripts of existing shows (unlike in the US). However the chance of you getting your own original work produced is rather small, so someone has to take a chance that you can write with correct voices for someone else's show.

This very thing was mentioned by Toby Whithouse in his Q&A - for the episodes of Being Human that he didn't write he chose two experienced writers that he knew could duplicate the character voices. And that is totally sensible and logical.

In the UK and the US no one will read a spec script for This Brilliant Show if they are the producers of This Brilliant Show because of the potential legal problems. But in the US you can write a spec for That Other Brilliant Show and send it to This Brilliant Show. Because it can be safely read and the producers can see whether you got the voices right for the other one.

But not in the UK. They don't want spec scripts from any existing show they want Your Original Voice. Which means new writers have a difficult time proving they can duplicate voices from existing shows.

So I had a stupid idea.

What if, I thought, I wrote a short script combining two sets of characters from different shows in a plot that could never happen? Something completely ridiculous that demonstrates I can write other people's characters? (Or not, as the case may be, but let's be positive.)

I asked Philip if he thought I could do that. He thought I probably could.

So, what the hell, I damn well will. It's currently called Which of the West? and is loosely based on the Wizard of Oz but combines three (yes, three!) popular UK TV shows in a 10 minute script. When I've finished it (and if I like it) I shall make it publicly available.

What's life if you can't have fun!

It also turns out that Philip would like to introduce my writing to people who don't produce SF and Fantasy TV, which means he can't send Monsters or Air. So I shall be writing the pilot for a series my wife and I have been kicking around for a couple of years - which isn't SF or Fantasy but is my other favourite genre: Detective. It will have the working title: Tec. (And that's a pun.)

Running is on hiatus (again) basically it's just not ready for the Linehan Poo. Hm, I've checked the reference but it doesn't really explain the Linehan Poo very well: Comedy writer Graham Linehan compared writing to having a poo - if it's not ready then you will have a hard time producing anything, but when it is ready ... you get the idea. It's a perfect analogy. I hate it.

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What's on the turntable? "One Vision" by Queen from "A Kind of Magic", the soundtrack to the brilliant Highlander - though the TV series was better.