I suppose I should have two, or even three, separate blogs. But I just can't be bothered.
First day in the new job. As I'm working for a big company it has all the things that big companies have, like an "induction course" which is for all new guys and gals. This is very commendable and I thoroughly approve. Unfortunately like most big companies there are problems, like the guy, Moses, who was on the induction course. He's part of our team but he's been there two months and this was his induction...
So there we were, Moses, Lars, David and Me. Sent across to a nearby building for the course. All in jeans except David, but David isn't a programmer so he had to wear a suit.
We sat in the reception of the new building and were issued visitor passes that would take us through the security doors and let us use the lift. So we asked the receptionist where we were to go and she said: "3rd floor, through the main doors, first door on your right". Well you wouldn't think this would cause much of a problem. It did.
But eventually we found ourselves in the stated room, at about 10.ooam, just as the induction course was supposed to start. And we waited, and waited, and waited. Yours truly, acting like the leader he's been employed to be (ahem) zoomed back to reception to ask where our induction chap was. But I didn't wait for the answer, I zoomed back just in case he'd turned up while I'd been gone.
We were in the wrong room. So 25 minutes late we sheepishly entered the right room with other inductees and the inductor. I made sure that everyone knew it wasn't our fault. I suspect they didn't believe me. But in my defence, David actually arrived after us and got the same instructions.
Oh and Lars is my friend. Oh yes. He didn't believe I was 50 (well, 49 and a half). He is my friend forever. Mind you, I had a phone conversation once where the person at the other end claimed that I didn't sound like someone who was 18 stone in weight.
How can you tell?
(Blog title courtesy of my wife -- who's also a professional writer.)
What's on the turntable? "Dies Irae" by Sky, from the album "Sky"